


10 Things I Hate About You

by mariposaroja



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-25
Updated: 2012-11-25
Packaged: 2017-11-19 12:19:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/573193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariposaroja/pseuds/mariposaroja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The ten things Steven Gerrard hates the most about Xabi Alonso</p>
            </blockquote>





	10 Things I Hate About You

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday Xabi! Muchos besos!

The first thing Steven hates about Xabi is the way the Spaniard talks to him. Stevie absolutely hates the condescending tone Xabi uses without even knowing when they argue. It makes him feel like a child. Steven has told his boyfriend this on many occasions but the younger man never believes that he does it. It’s extremely frustrating. He is the captain of Liverpool Football Club and yet Xabi speaks to him as if he is a toddler who is keeps throwing his bottle out of the pram in a tantrum. He frequently has to remind his on and off the field partner that he is two years older than him and not a child.

The second thing Steven Gerrard hates about Xabi Alonso is the way that he stares at him; in meetings, in the dressing room, while Steven is doing interviews... all the time. He feels those gorgeous brown eyes on him and he completely forgets what he was saying or thinking. The younger man’s gaze is always so intense, or lustful or loving and Steven do nothing but wonder what he is thinking at that moment, because he always wants to know what Xabi is thinking. He doesn’t know if anyone else notices or not, but Xabi’s stares are simply the most distracting and infuriating things on the planet.

The third thing that he hates about his Spanish lover is the fact that he is always right, in more than one sense. Most of the time the two start bickering about something benign like where they have seen an actor before or who’s idea it was to paint the bedroom lime green or other things like that and when they ask other people or finally remember, it is always the younger man who is right. Steven Gerrard hates being wrong and that happens a lot with Xabi. In another sense, Xabi is always right, no matter what the argument, he is the one who is in the right and never Steven. At least in his mind. For the most part, the captain just lets it go to stop the conflict but it is so frustrating to live with someone who always thinks they’re right.

The fourth thing Stevie hates about Xabi is the fact that he’s always in a good mood. That quality of his can be really grating sometimes. He detests the fact that whenever he’s in a bad mood, the Spaniard is always his usually optimistic and bubbly self. It does nothing to improve his mood, in fact it always makes it worse. The last thing Steven wants when he’s moping is for Xabi to be going around humming or smiling or using that airy tone that he hates so much. Sometimes all the captain wants to do when they play badly or lose a match or anything of the sort is to feel sorry for himself for just a little while and he can never do that when Xabier Alonso is around.

The fifth thing he hates about his midfield partner is the way he talks in Spanish while he’s around him. When they are with anyone who speaks Spanish, Xabi always seems to end up talking to that person in his native tongue and no matter how many times Steven tried to learn Spanish, he just can’t get it in. It’s very frustrating when he has to listen to two of his friends talking to each other in a different language and the captain doesn’t have a clue what they are saying. It might as well be pig Latin for all the difference it makes to him. He has to constantly remind his partner that he doesn’t understand or speak Spanish. As well when ever Xabi is annoyed with Steven or when they argue, often he will just start this rant in Spanish and all Steven can do is stare at him, unsure of what to say. It makes him self-conscious because he has no idea what the Spaniard is saying.

The sixth thing the Scouser hates about Xabi is his ability to make Steven laugh when he really doesn’t want to laugh. It is completely infuriating for him when he is annoyed with Xabi and the Spaniard does or says something funny and he cannot help but smile and laugh and completely forget the reason that he’s even angry with him in the first place. It is just one of the many effects that Xabi has on him and he hates him for it. Especially when Steven really does not want to give into him and yet he is powerless to resist the charms and powers of one Xabier Alonso. He really hates that, being completely powerless. It is like he has the worst bluff ever and Xabi the best.

The seventh thing Stevie hates about the Spaniard is the fact that he is maddeningly good at practically anything. The incident that stands out most in his mind is when Steven decided that he was going to learn the guitar and began taking lessons twice a week. After six long weeks and several bleeding fingers later, he finally decided that guitar wasn’t for him and he and his six string respectively parted ways. The guitar went into the store room and one night when Steven was watching The Office on tv, Xabi disappeared for about half an hour. He returned, six string in hand, with an excited look on his face. “Look what I just learned to do Stevie!” the Spaniard said with unbearable enthusiasm and began playing “Stairway to Heaven” on the guitar. Steven could only sit there with his jaw dropped and jealously arousing inside him. He was indignant that he had spent six weeks learning and only mastered the chords C and G and in half an hour Xabi could play one of the hardest songs there are to play. It just isn’t fair. Of course after that Steven couldn’t even stay mad at him as outlined in reason six.

The eight thing Steven Gerrard hates about Xabi is because he just cannot say no to him. No matter how hard he tries, that is just impossible. It’s a combination of the eyes and the face and the hair and the body and the accent and just everything about him that makes Steven completely powerless to deny him anything. He always tries his best and sometimes really believes that he’s going to win, but it is always futile. Xabi uses his charm on his captain and partner and has Steven eating out of the palm of his hand. It’s embarrassing sometimes.

The ninth thing he hates about the Spaniard is he hates when he’s not around, be it when they’re on international duty or when Xabi’s visiting his family in Spain or when one of them is injured or not playing a certain away match... Steven just can’t stand to be away from him and he really hates that. The bed is too cold and uncomfortable when Xabi’s not around, the weather is always seems duller, his favourite food doesn’t taste as good... nothing is the same and that really irritates him. He hates that he is so dependent on the Spaniard but there’s nothing he can do about it, so he mopes and is grumpy when Xabi’s gone and Steven detests that.

The final thing that Steven hates about Xabi is the fact that he took his heart immediately and without him even knowing. From the moment Steven Gerrard met Xabi Alonso, he never had a choice and he hates when things are out of his control. Very soon after the Spaniard arrived in Liverpool, Stevie realised that he was head over heels in love with him, something that confused him a lot. He was in a relationship and had never had feelings for another man before but all that went out the window with the coming of Xabi. It was like he just reached out and pulled the captain’s heart out of his chest without even occurring to him what was happening. Steven has never been in love with someone the way that he is with Xabi and he hates him for it. He hates for making him fall for him, he hates him for making him feel things he’s never felt before and he hates him for making him know that he will never love anyone else.

There are lots of things Steven really hates about Xabi and yet none of them even come close to outweighing how much he loves him. All those things are inane, benign and completely and utterly irrelevant. There are so many things that Steven hates about the love of his life, but there is no way he could ever hate him. It is just impossible. Everyone who knows the couple would say the same thing. There is no Steven without Xabi and there is no Xabi without Steven. That’s just the way it works. End of story. It is because of all these things that he hates about Xabi that make Steven love him unconditionally and irrevocably. And that is the reason that he is standing in a suit in a registry office with their closest friends and family, ready to commit the rest of his life to the Spaniard without a single regret or reservation because even though Xabi does things that make him unhappy, Steven know there is no possible way that he could ever be happy without him.


End file.
